In this day and age, there are ideal’s and expectations for every single aspect of people’s lives, no matter where they are from or what they look like. There is some sort of requirement put upon them that they have to some how fulfill or they are looked down at. One of these big aspects are families. What type of family they have, how many kids they have, have they ever been divorced, etc. Specifically looking at the family types of African American individuals, Hispanic American individuals, and Caucasian American individuals, there is a significant difference in the expectations and what is accepted and considered ‘normal’. The expectations on how to be a perfect parent is also a concept that society has made a guideline for, but so few individuals meet those basic characteristics and are often outcast or judged for what almost everyone struggles with reaching. Mothers have incredibly high expectations on them to be the perfect mother who always knows what they are doing, but the reality is that they often struggle doing it ‘alone’ and find themselves relying on other around them to help, whether that be the husband/father or other family members. In some cases, there are no father figures in the family because they can often become scarce when the word family is mentioned, or they can be dragged away to go to jail or to attempt to make a better life for their family somewhere else.

Family types are split in a pretty logical manner with two main types. Two generation and three generation families. Two generation families are often what is referred to as a ‘nuclear’ family. There are both parents (generation 1) and then their children (generation 2) (Georgas, 2003). On the other hand, three generation families often have different varieties and structures but consist of grandparents (generation 1), parents and/or aunts and uncles (generation 2) and children or cousins (generation 3) (Georgas, 2003). Some specifications that three generation families have are whether it is patrilineal or matrilineal, what the stem family is, if there is any joint family, and if they have a fully extended family (Georgas, 2003). A patrilineal or matrilineal family just refers to the authoritative structure of the family, with patrilineal being that the father is in charge and before him, his father; while a matrilineal family means that the mother is the one in charge and before her, her mother (Georgas, 2003). A stem family often consists of the grandparents, the eldest married son, and their children all living together in one household. The reason for this set up often has to do with inheriting land, as splitting it up among children makes the property smaller and worth less but, in this case, it only gets passed down to one son (Georgas, 2003). A joint family is similar to the patrilineal family but when the grandfather dies, all of his married sons share the inheritance and work together to maintain it (Georgas, 2003). Finally, fully extended families often include 50 members, if not more. This included all grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, kids, and any other kin (Georgas, 2003).

More commonly found in Caucasian families, is the nuclear family that just consists of the parents and the children (Sutherland, 2014). There is less reliance on other family members when it comes to care and taking care of the children, which is a big benefit and use for having extended families or three generation family units. Hispanic and black families can often be found utilizing extended family members to watch and take care of their children when the time comes (Sutherland, 2014). This is why the extended family type is the next most common, because so many ethnicities and cultures utilize this family type in order to best raise their family and most efficiently help the family financially. Another common family grouping that can be found is single mother and one or more children (Sutherland, 2014). This type of family can honestly be found in almost any ethnicity but is extremely common in African American mothers. Black women have a much higher likelihood of becoming teenage mothers who then stay single or have marriage instability (Washington, 2010). More specifically, around 72% of black children are born to unmarried mothers which compared to the 42% for the average U.S. population, is a significantly big number of kids (Washington, 2010). In addition to this, it is incredibly likely that the family will have the stigma and judgement attached to them where they are regarded as poor, fatherless, dependent on government assistance, and involved in producing a multitude of kids out of marriage (Thomas, 2007). Looking at the statistics above, it is no wonder that most people view African American families in the viewpoint that was mentioned above. With high rates of single mother families, which means no father is around or they are but not quite acting like a fatherly figure, some families do end up requiring some sort of government assistance and can often be found on the lower part of the income scale.

In the book The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, we see multiple examples of different types of families found in both the black community and the white community. We have Starr’s family that consists of her biological mom and dad, her younger brother, and her older half-brother. Her half-brother was born to her father and another woman who he slept with while married to Starr’s mom. A big part of the book centers around the idea that black individuals need to be weary of police officers, so they often have to give them the ‘other talk’ about what to do when a cop stops you (Thomas, 17). This is an incredibly worrisome conversation to think about let alone actually having to give to your children. A talk that gets passed down from parent to child with every generation, something that has become a social norm among this community. A result of that type of situation, one of Starr’s best friends from her younger years, dies in a police shooting and the whole community has to deal with the reality that that situation brings. Most specifically, ­­­Khalil’s mother who has been judged by almost everyone to not be good mother. While she gave birth to him, she was never there for him as a true motherly figure because of her addiction to drugs, but she was still his mother. This was completely against Starr’s opinion though as she believed it was wrong that she got to all of the sudden feel the sadness and dread after he died since she was never there for him (Thomas, 63). Since his mother did not fulfill the ‘expected’ role of a mother, she is completely dismissed from being allowed to feel any sadness over his death. In contrast, on the other side of the family, Starr’s father struggled with being in his family as a father, especially since he was a part of a gang and was sent to jail for a brief period of time when Starr was little. He stated that it was the hardest three years of his life because he was stuck in prison, like his father, missing out on his baby’s life (Thomas, 116). As mentioned above, this fits into the view that black families are often fatherless, whether it be because the father does not want to be within the family or because they are physically pulled from it like to be put in jail.

In addition to that book, Drown by Junot Diaz, goes over multiple different families with some variety in family structure. The two main types that are most often mentioned is the one family with both parents involved yet the father seems to be in a relationship with another individual, with the other type being both parents technically in the family, the father is absent or off doing something else. In this case, the father seemed to be off in another country, specifically the U.S., trying to make a living for himself and eventually to get his whole family there with him (Diaz, 69). This puts a big strain on the family as it mostly all relies on the mother to keep the house and to also take care of the children. A solution to this is often having other family members help out with caretaking, especially when the parent just needs help or some time off. In some of the short stories mentioned in this book, the children were sent of to spend some time with their aunt or uncle for anywhere between a week to almost more than a month (Diaz, 3-4 and 74). In addition to that, many Hispanic families involves grandparents into their household which is shown when the mother of the particular family often left her kids with their grandfather in order to go work (Diaz, 72).

Parents and families are constantly judged in their ability to be the best mothers and fathers that they can be, but often they find themselves in situations where they are completely incapable of reaching that goal. Sometimes mothers are prevented from being there for their kids as much as they can be because of things such as addiction, stress, and other outside influences. This seems to be a much bigger rate in African American and Hispanic families in comparison to almost any other ethnicity, which often has to do with access to resources and availability of various things in life. Fathers, especially Hispanic and African American fathers, struggle with being there for their family because of things like jail and trying to get a better situation for their family. All around, there are so many expectations that are set out for parents, which are often unattainable, and when they do not meet them, which it seems that minority parents often do not, they get judged and labeled as being bad parents when in reality, they are doing anything that they possibly can.

Reference:

Diaz, Junot (1996). Drown. Riverhead Books.

Georgas, J. (2003). Family: Variations and Changes Across Cultures. International Association for Cross-Cultural Psychology.

Sutherland, A. (2014). Family Structure and Children’s Health. Institute for Family Studies.

Thomas, A. (2017). The Hate U Give. HarperCollins

Thomas, P., Krampe, E., Newton, R. (2007). Father Presence, Family Structure, and Feelings of Closeness to the Father Among Adult African American Children. Journal of Black Studies.

Washington, J. (2010). Blacks struggle with 72 percent unwed mothers rate. Boston.com.