I got a lot of good advice during the class peer review. The first thing I need to do is to rethink my thesis and then rearrange my claims. I also have to pick the claims that best support my thesis. Once I do that, the rest of my paper will start to come together better. After that, I need to work on shortening my introduction paragraph since it is almost an entire page. Also the hook at the beginning of the intro needs a little more work because it is not as intriguing as other things that I could say. I want to look more thoroughly each of the tests I use to attempt to find better and more quotes to better support what I’m trying to say. Lastly, for my naysayer, I have a plan to use a psychology quote about humans need social or human contact to remain healthy and happy. I am much more interested in this paper than the other ones so I hope that it comes together much more than the other ones.
