In this paper, the first thing I’m going to do is to add the proof and evidence that I haven’t yet added. This will help to bring all that I am trying to say together, and help to support what I am trying to prove. Once that happens, the next step will be to add better elaboration around each quote. What I’m trying to say will hopefully be better stated when I have another go at my paper and the quotes I plan to use, actually go into my paper. Another huge thing I have to work on is shortening each of my body paragraphs. Each one has almost taken up the entirety of a page and from experience, looking at a page full from top to bottom, full of words, isn’t as interesting as one that is more broken up. I think the best decision for my paper is to keep it in the order it is in, but to separate each paragraph into pros and cons. This will add better flow to my paper and allow me to elaborate more into each thought instead of trying to fit two into one paragraph. Something that I do like in my paper is how personal it is and I just need to make sure that it is more consistent throughout the whole paper. Once this all happens, I believe that the paper will be much better.